A few years ago I met up with someone I only ever saw at university in one or two lectures a week. We had a little chat and decided to meet up at my place later that week. She told me that she was a lesbian and she was trans. I didn't have an issue with it because I never had any issues with trans people and I accepted them as the gender they identify as. In my acceptance, I perceived her 100% just as I perceive any other woman. I never had any close friendships with any trans women but I didn't expect it to be any different than meeting up with my many other lesbian and female friends. I wasn't sexually interested in her at all but I'm not interested in EVERY woman I meet so I also didn't think about that either. When we met up she immediately began hitting on me, touching me and being extremely flirty. 

I was so confused and didn't know what to do other than laugh it off and say "Hey we don't know each other at all and I'm not interested in anything sexual at the moment". It reminded me so much of when I had men over and I never experienced something like this with any other woman. She immediately asked me if it was because she was trans and I said no, because I seriously didn't think that way. There just wasn't any attraction and I just wanted to talk with her because she seemed nice in the beginning. 

She said that it was extremely unfair and transphobic of me to lead her on like that. But I really didn't lead her on. I just invited her for a cup of tea and we barely knew each other. I know that many men think this way but I never expected this of another woman. I tried to explain to her that I see her 100% as a woman and that I just wasn't interested in her sexually. 

She told me that I needed to find her sexually attractive if I really saw her as a real woman because I was a lesbian. 

The discussion went on like that for some time but it always got to a point where she wanted to convince me that I owed her sex because I lead her on. She also said that she found my dominant attitude sexy in university (I just like to talk and don't let myself get interrupted, other than that I'm fairly shy), which confused me even more. 

I didn't know what to do anymore so I asked her to leave. That's when she began touching me between my legs and tried to push a finger into me. I pushed her away and yelled at her and she reacted by trying to hit me. Luckily my screaming made her leave before anything else could happen. This was all extremely shocking to me and it turned my world upside down. I didn't even dare to talk about it with my therapist because I felt like I just couldn't paint a trans woman as a sexual predator, even though she was one. 

Even now I still get messages from trans women and men from her friend group that threaten me with rape to "get me to like dick like a proper lesbian". I never told anyone about this and I think I never will. I only have trans men in my friend group and I always feel comfortable around them. You could say that I only trust AFAB people. I respect trans people, I will always fight for their rights and support them. But my trust for AMAB people is completely broken. I will fight for trans womens rights always but I also need to protect myself and will apply the same safety rules I have for meeting up with men to them now. 

It doesn't hurt them in any way and it just keeps me safe but I feel like I couldn't voice this anywhere without getting more threats.