Exposing Male Violence Against Lesbians

64. Anonymous 23/11/2021

So I'm not sure if this really counts since it was online but I was around fifteen (probably fourteen) when it happened and extremely insecure and anxious. I was in this group chat for lesbians (where every person who was a 'non-man' was allowed) when I got a dm from this trans woman. He sent me a long text saying that he is a transwoman who would like to discuss periods and other things with teen girls. In detail mentioning his penis and referring to it as a "lady dick". He then proceeded to send me at least seven pictures of him dressed in women's clothing with his genitalia completely exposed, asking me if I liked his 'lady dick'. When I went into the group chat, as a lost and newly out lesbian online (which they knew since that's the first thing I told them), to ask for help all of them turned cold to me. They did not help and instead shamed me for 'outing' him yet I never stated his username. They shamed me for not knowing what to do and invalidating him by going public. Saying I should have just politely declined if I haven't unlearned my genital fetish yet. I later reported him, came back to the chat only to find them openly talking about me and mentioning how they have no tolerance for transphobia when a girl said they were being too harsh on me. I didn't leave the dm from that guy because I was afraid of being transphobic, I usually would have. But since he said he was trans, I felt obligated to stay, I felt cornered. I was scared and completely alone. It was only a few weeks later that I found out, to my complete surprise, that a lot of the people who shamed me for that were boys. Very few were actually girls, not that they defended me but they were the gentler ones. One of the sentences I still clearly remember is "Why are you telling us that?". It was the first thing they said when I told them that a transwoman just sent me pictures of her genitalia and that I did not know what to do. I'm still not over that. Anytime I brought it up people get annoyed or tell me it wasn't a real transwoman and that by spreading that story around I am somehow "contributing to transphobia". They used it against me as a way to say that I'm just baised against transpeople because of one experience, ignoring that I have more. I stopped really talking about it. The first time anyone sympathized with me was in a radfem gender critical group, the very group the lgbtq+ community demonized. It's funny how people say that there is no diffrence between a transwoman and a woman, only transwomen have sexually harassed me and sent me pictures of their genitals.