Exposing Male Violence Against Lesbians

67. Kristina 12/12/2021

This happened in July last year. I’ve been friends with Jack (not his real name) for over 10 years. We’re close friends, I was one of only two guests at his wedding to his wife, my other best friend. They were relocating & the wife went first with their three kids & he stayed to finish off sorting the old house. I happily said I’d go round & help. Got there & he’d had a few alcoholic drinks, nothing unusual & I wasn’t concerned. Did some packing & sat down to eat pizza & that’s when he started... told me how sexy he’d always found me, & that he’d always fantasized about fucking me (his words). I laughed it off, told him he was a twat & reminded him I was a lesbian. He persisted in trying to convince me I’d like it, told me if I didn’t want his cock in me (his words), it would be ok as his fingers & tongue were ‘genderless’ & I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. That lesbian sex was just like heterosexual foreplay & he was great at foreplay. I told him he was being disrespectful, offensive & his wife would find his words as disgusting as I did. He did not give a shit & carried banging on, telling me he had a hard on & he needed me to do something about it, couldn’t I just pretend it was a dildo or strap-on. After more protestations from me he said, ‘all I can think about right now is throwing you on the floor, ripping your clothes off & burying my face in your pussy’. His tone was vaguely threatening & he’d started to scare me. I left my phone on the table, went & locked myself in the toilet & txt my daughter (my daughter is adopted, so not the result of a heterosexual relationship) from my watch, telling her to call me urgently & go with whatever I said. I stayed in the toilet until I heard my phone ring. I went out, answered the phone & babbled about her being really upset about her boyfriend & said I’d come home immediately, picked up my keys whilst still talking to my daughter & moved really quickly to the front door. He stood up to come after me but I was out the door & into the street. He started to ask if he could come back to mine, said he’d be helpful. I waved him off, got in my car & left. He text me a few minutes later telling me to go back to his once I’d got my daughter sorted. He also called me the following morning. I ignored his call but did call his wife, told her what happened & didn’t feel able to go round there & provide any more help with the move. Turns out he’d started to be a twat to her, gaslighting, ‘accidentally’ bumping into her, spilling hot tea on her etc She was horrified at his treatment of me & it was pretty much the straw that broke the camels back. The move happened but Jack didn’t go in the end & divorce is on the horizon. I feel no guilt at telling his wife & no guilt that telling his wife probably hastened that divorce process. I am still, to this day, shocked & upset & every now & then wonder if he would have tried to act on his perverse suggestions if I hadn’t got out when I did. I’m still great friends with his wife but have had no contact with him since I left the house that night.