Exposing Male Violence Against Lesbians

Lesbian testimonies of “transwomen” in lesbian spaces

These are not testimonies of outright violence but they give an idea of lesbians experience interactions with "transwomen" in lesbian spaces —————————————— 1. Aside from the plethora of online abuse I have received, I have experienced this in person. Two and half years ago, I attended a youth group for lesbians aged 16-24. I enjoyed attending but after a few months, a transwoman joined. They stated very early on that anyone who wouldn't date them due to them being trans was a "terf" or "transphobic". I was an ally then but this made me uncomfortable. One day they went on another one of their rants and I told them I wasn't comfortable with sleeping with someone with a penis. They called me a terf and the other group members joined in. The leader of the group, a much older lesbian said "if you liked the person you would get over it". I left upset and felt I was no longer welcome in the group and never went back. Someone else in the group messaged me a lot of abuse that evening and I ended up having to block her number as she wouldn't leave me alone. —————————————— 2. I have never been with a trans woman cause I am mature enough to put on my own boundaries, BUT even if nothing too heavy happened to me, I still feel the pressure of being a lesbian in a queer world. The first time I noticed the cotton ceiling problem I was in a FB group for lesbians and bisexual girls that was opened to TIMs too. Someone posted a meme saying "your face when your friends only talk about dick" and a trans woman started the usual "some women have dicks". A thread started when Tras were saying that it was homophobic not to sleep with Trans women cause they were women, while some other lesbians were saying that we do not own them sex. Some of us got kicked out of the group. It was only the top of the iceberg. I see thousands and thousands of RAPEY posts about the fact that liking vaginas is a fetish (I know Trans community now). YET, only Radfems and LGB Alliance do something to denounce this homophobia. I am 28 and very self-assured, but I cannot imagine how hard it must be for younger lesbians or more fragile lesbians to be ashamed of their own sexual orientation. I also see A LOT of males on dating apps pretending they are female, once I matched with one and blocked once they told me they were trans. I am worried about going to dates and not seeing that the person is actually a male and that he can hurt or rape me. It is a disgrace, when I came out 8 years ago I just couldn't imagine getting to this point. —————————————— 3. I was so glad to see the written piece as presents a reality I know people experience. It’s something my lesbian friends and I discuss. The risk of being judged as transphobic is limiting some of our social interactions. It also risks development of a much more polarised position as a self protective response to perception of threat I was as equally dismayed to hear if the high volume of objections to the article on the basis of exactly the same rhetoric