Exposing Male Violence Against Lesbians

73. Anonymous 12/02/2022

My first experience with a trans-identified male was when I was in 6th grade. I had figured out I was a lesbian 3 years prior and living in a small, rural, town meant that I was met with insane amounts of hostility. I met him online. While I don't remember the details of how we met, I believe a mutual friend introduced us, I remember that we communicated on a messaging app called "Kik". He was in his mid to late 20s. When we first started talking, he never mentioned being transsexual until I mentioned being a lesbian. From there, things got strange. He started getting violently upset if I didn't talk to him at all times of day (even while I was in class) and would become manipulative if I said no to something which included giving him my address so he could send me letters while he was serving in the military (I'm unsure of how truthful he was being about joining the military) along with sending selfies, both of which I ended up doing after enough pressure was put on me. A few days after giving him my address, he told me he was going to be driving through my state on his way to the military base he was stationed at and asked to meet up. One day, he confessed to me that he was in love with me. I didn't take it very seriously since I was a lesbian, he KNEW I was a lesbian, so it was obvious nothing would happen. He got very angry about this. Afterward, he made it a point to always tell me how much he loved me every single day and ask for more pictures of me. That's all I'm comfortable sharing about him in particular (don't worry though, I never encountered him in real life). I was too young to truly understand the gravity of all of this, but looking back, I'm very lucky to not have been physically harmed. I wish I could say my other experiences with TIMs and other males, even my own ""father"" and his friends along with my mother's boyfriend and their friends, ended the same way. I might tell more of my experiences in another testimony some other time, but this is all I'm willing to share today.