I’m a 37 year old lesbian. Aside from the usual male response of ‘you need a real man’ etc, I have had a number of harrowing experiences related directly to my sexuality. One of my first experiences which still makes me angry today was when I was about 20. My lesbian friend and I went to london together- we were students at Durham university and the only ‘out’ lesbians at our college. So going to london with the prospect of meeting other lesbians was really exciting for us. We decided to go out to the gay clubs. We dressed up and wore summer dresses- both presenting in a traditionally feminine way. When we queued at the club, I think it was G-A-Y, we were among mostly gay men but also quite a few lesbians- who were generally presenting in a more butch fashion to us. Fine we thought. We were excited about our night. When we got to the doors the bouncer told us it was a gay club. Fine we said, we are gay. The bouncer laughed and signalled the other door man over. They didn’t believe we were gay and insisted we kiss to prove it in order that they could grant us entry. We were not dating we were just friends. Of course we refused to kiss. And guess what! We weren’t allowed In because we refused to kiss for the gratification of these fucking door men at a gay and lesbian nightclub. It was really upsetting. It sounds stupid but it still makes me angry to this day that I felt so ostracised by what was supposed to be my own community. And no one stood up for us and instead encouraged us to kiss just like the doormen. Later in life, when I was 27 I was taken against my will to Spain where my mother and her boyfriend locked me up in the pool house and went about systematically trying to correct my lesbianism. I was forced to work manual work for no money. My clothes were taken away from me and I was made to dress in clothes of their choosing. My mother’s boyfriend made me write to a man he met in prison who was serving time for manslaughter- because he was somehow a more acceptable prospect to me having a girlfriend. While in Spain I witnessed a dog being thrown out of a car and I rescued her. I begged to keep her, I was allowed to. I loved her. She was used against me to control my behaviour. I was made to beat her, if I did not he said he would hit her harder than I could. This was all part of the process to cure me apparently. Apparently I was cured when a man leered at me on the street- that was proof to my mother’s boyfriend that I was not a lesbian since a man had apparently found me attractive. I managed to escape from Spain by pretending I was cured and saying I wanted to be a school teacher because I knew they would see that as an acceptable career (I was an artist and studying a masters- which was unacceptable to them), also to be a school teacher and get into a training course two weeks experience volunteering at a school in England was an essential entry requirement for teacher training. So that’s how I got away (they had my passport and my bank cards). I managed to get the dog to England too. She was my world. She died in October 2021 and I miss her terribly. Ultimately I failed at teaching despite excelling at the training and scoring the highest marks because I descended into alcoholism. I cut off ties with my mother and her boyfriend and got sober. I don’t know if this is really a lesbian ‘me too’ but thank you for reading some of my story. Thank you.